|My current headshot (I love it, thanks Blu Toth)|
I am not sure. I am pretty wishy washy actually . The reason I stopped working in the first place was to spend every precious moment watching and supporting my little girl as she grew up. And so far I have not missed a thing. Her first foods, her first words, her first steps. Yep, I was there for them. Her first interaction with another child. Her first hug and even her first boo-boo. I was there. But now I long for some work. Some creative outlet to get my actor- y juices flowing and get myself out there again. But as whom??
A young Mom? The neighbor next door? I am not even sure who I am but I know one thing. I am ready. I think.
I am not sure why I am having trouble committing myself to this idea. Could be because I really don't want to miss anything. I love each and every craft that we build together, every bathtime, tea party, story time, Toddler time, playdate, etc. I cannot imagine missing these day to day events and for what? Another film? Another audio book? They will be there. But my loving sweet toddler daughter will grow up while I am away at auditions, and filming, and shooting, and recording and before I know it, she will be an independent preteen or teen who doesnt want to spend a single moment with her "uncool" mother.
But on the other hand. This is who I am , this is part of me. I am a performing artist and this itch, this longing, this passion is in my blood and it will never go away.
So, I must compromise. I will do both. I can do both and I will. I may work less, I may miss a playdate once in awhile, but I will be a happy, well-rounded, fulfilled mama/actress/voice over artist who has everything to offer her daughter.
So the longing will turn into reality and I will let you know how this all turns out. I am starting today. I have rented some time at a recording studio to record an audition and some audio book auditions and on Saturday I have a film audition. It is a long shot, and I am a bit too old for the role (I think), but it will feel good to get up in front of a casting director and read, and improv and act and put myself out there. And emote. And ...well, be fulfilled.
Until then, I am looking for ways to make this blog a better place to be and for more interesting topics for you to read. I have gotten away from the fashion aspect and I want to work that back in (since I am still obsessed with shoes and pretty things).
Have a great Thursday, Friday and Saturday and send me a little luck, as I journey back into the fray.