Thursday, December 13, 2012

I am a Stay at Home Mom, who longs to be a Work at Home Mom

My current headshot (I love it, thanks Blu Toth)
Ok..  Now that Ana is 2, and is more and more independent, I think I am ready to get back to work. And work is ready for me to get back to it.  I think.

I am not sure. I am pretty wishy washy actually .  The reason I stopped working in the first place was to spend every precious moment watching and supporting my little girl as she grew up. And so far I have not missed a thing. Her first foods, her first words, her first steps. Yep, I was there for them.  Her first interaction with another child. Her first hug and even her first boo-boo. I was there.  But now I long for some work. Some creative outlet to get my actor- y juices flowing and get myself out there again. But as whom??

 A young Mom? The neighbor next door? I am not even sure who I am but I know one thing. I am ready. I think.

 I am not sure why I am having trouble committing myself to this idea. Could be because I really don't want to miss anything. I love each and every craft that we build together, every bathtime, tea party, story time, Toddler time, playdate, etc. I cannot imagine missing these day to day events and for what? Another film? Another audio book? They will be there. But my loving sweet toddler daughter will grow up while I am away at auditions, and filming, and shooting, and recording and before I know it, she will be an independent preteen or teen who doesnt want to spend a single moment with her "uncool" mother.

But on the other hand. This is who I am , this is part of me. I am a performing artist and this itch, this longing, this passion is in my blood and it will never go away.

So, I must compromise. I will do both. I can do both and I will.  I may work less, I may miss a playdate once in awhile, but I will be a happy, well-rounded, fulfilled mama/actress/voice over artist who has everything to offer her daughter.

So the longing will turn into reality and I will let you know how this all turns out. I am starting today. I have rented some time at a recording studio to record an audition and some audio book auditions and on Saturday I have a film audition. It is a long shot, and I am a bit too old for the role (I think), but it will feel good to get up in front of a casting director and read, and improv and act and put myself out there. And emote. And ...well, be fulfilled.

Until then, I am looking for ways to make this blog a better place to be and for more interesting topics for you to read. I have gotten away from the fashion aspect and I want to work that back in (since I am still obsessed with shoes and pretty things).

Have a great Thursday, Friday and Saturday and send me a little luck, as I journey back into the fray.

Stay well,

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

I think it is good to have our own interests outside of being mommies and to be able to do something you enjoy is a gift in itself. So I hope you get parts/roles that you will love and will make the time apart from your beautiful daughter meaningful. Also remember how great it will feel when you come back home again. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I doubt your daughter will grow up and think of you as an uncool mom. I bet she thinks she has one of the coolest moms ever! I look forward to your bringing back the fashion aspect. Hope you are having a Merry Christmas!