I have a confession to make: I was not sure that I ever wanted to have children. I just didn't have that maternal pull towards babies. Kids in groups annoyed me, especially in NYC where they are rude and loud and well, children. "I don't even really like children. " That was how I felt before I met Anastasia.
I really enjoyed my 20's into my 30's happily married , splitting my time between NYC and Beacon/NY and loved being able to travel at a whim, stay up super late and have plenty of time for frivolous activities. Spa days. Sample sales. Spontaneous Shoe Shopping at Saks. But even more surprisingly the real confession is : I cannot imagine never having had the experience of Anastasia.
She is amazing. I could never begin to describe in mere words what my daughter means to me and how she makes me feel as her mother. I would have to write a dictionary's worth of flowery words just to begin. So I will make this blog post short and sweet and print it out for her to read someday. Being Ana's Mama has made me a better woman. She has taught me patience, brought out my sense of humor and tugged at my heartstrings. She fills me with love and makes me see the world through her beautiful and wondrous eyes. I have a new appreciation for even the little things that make day to day living amazing. A bird tweeting. A flower petal. A doll's fake cry, now makes me smile and laugh and fills me with joy. Her love of music, dance and learning fills me with awe and her little body rocking to the beat is adorable. Conversations about tea parties, A,B,C's and the playground make me giggle and pulse with delight. I just want to bottle up her innocence and hug her tight to me every minute, and keep her safe in this world. She is my daughter . She is my world. And I am her Mom. Mom. Me. Mommy. That's Me. I love you Ana. May you always look at the world through your beautiful point of view, filled with laughter and love. I love you dear girl. Happy Mama's Day to me.
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