To my dear daughter Ana: How you came into the world.....

Anastasia , a few hours old.

To my precious daughter:

I love you. You are here. And I am madly , deeply in love with you. Every day, almost every hour, I hold you in my arms, stare deep into your blue eyes and wish the world for you. I want all of your dreams to come true. I will give you everything you need and most things that you want. You will want for nothing.

Sit down and let me tell you how you arrived oh dramatic Anastasia. It was really something.

Ana tries to open her eyes.

 On July 31, 2010 I was sitting at home, waiting for your Daddy to get home from his work meeting. He had a special one that day (Saturday), and was in North White Plains with his phone on, in case I went into labor. I was pretty sure you were going to be on time, but everyone else told me not to hold my breath, that you could be late (as most first babies are). The day before (Friday , July 30th) your daddy and I went shopping for diapers, and a camera to take your photos, and we were in BJS Warehouse when Mommy thought her water had broke. Daddy walked me to the car, and we rushed home to time the contractions. Unfortunately for us, like the 2 previous days, they were false, more than likely Braxton Hicks contractions, and the water was probably the rest of my mucous plug dropping.

So you can imagine how laid back I was on Saturday, when I started to feel those same contractions. I had a notebook ready, and started to time them from the beginning. 4:48 pm was the first one, and they continued about 13-17 minutes on average. When your daddy walked in the door, I told him I was having false labor, but would stay on top of the contractions. He took one look at the timing and told me they were coming about every 15 minutes. We called the midwife, Julie Denney, and let her know how far apart they were. She told us to call back when they were 5 minutes apart, which we thought we had hours for. Your daddy brought down the bags and put them by the door, and Mommy thought it would be a good thing to make some Cranberry Orange muffins for the Neugarten staff.

I mixed up the muffin mix, sprayed the pan and started spooning the mix in, when a gigantic whoosh of water started streaming down my legs. My water broke, and I knew you were on the way! I started laughing and crying all at once, and your daddy was there laughing with me. We were so giddy with excitement and glee. I ran into the shower, and asked your daddy to come help time the contractions. He was throwing the bags in the car, cleaning up the water and putting Chai and Ginger (your chihuahua sisters) into their bed.

I was in the shower when the contractions increased to 5 minutes, and then kept coming faster. It was about 8 o'clock at this point, so we called Julie again, and told her we were leaving for Rhinebeck. You have great timing, kiddo! It just so happens that Chelsea Clinton was getting married at that time, and we were worried about traffic, so we wanted to get the show on the road. Mommy got into the car, and started her yoga breaths, we put on your favorite pop cd, and mommy and daddy headed to the birthing center to meet you.

We got there about 845-9ish , because Mommy kept telling Daddy to slow down, it wasn't a race, and it would be hours before active labor and your appearance. Boy, was she wrong. We parked the car, and got to Neugarten, dragging in all of our bags chock full of the stuff that Mommy would need to have the best birth: A rolling pin, massage oil, washcloths, mixed cds, snacks, her birthing plan, Daddy's note from mommy reminding him what to do, camera, and video camera. We were ready for anything. I got undressed , put on my robe and they checked your vital signs to make sure you were not in distress. You had a strong heartbeat and Mommy was fine too. I was 6 centimeters dilated.

After I was checked, I started squatting, and pushing against the wall and bed to get through the contractions. They were about 2-3 minutes apart and coming hard at this point. Deep inside I guess I knew I would meet you soon. Daddy was trying to help Mommy by asking how he could help, Mixed cd? Calm Birth cd? Rolling pin, Massage? But we were past all of that and I knew I just had to push. I told him to go sit on the chair and look pretty. He looked around for something to do and remembered the video camera to record your birth!

I asked for Julie a couple of times, and as she walked into the door suiting up for birth, I asked if i could push. I needed to be checked for dilation. She checked, I guess I was ready, because she said, "You can push".

And so I did. And pushed. And breathed, and panted, and sweated and knew any second now my sweet Ana Banana Leo girl would be here. Your head was crowning and I guess they were worried about your heartbeat, because they told Mommy to put the oxygen mask on, which I hated. I had it on for half a push and then with a giant whoosh and one last laborious push , I heard your healthy cry! You were born.

10:29 pm. From 4:48-10:29. Not bad baby girl. Mommy would do it over and over again for you!!

A healthy, beautiful dark-haired, blue eyed 7 lb baby girl. My sweet Ana. And now as I hold you and feed you and stroke your soft downy hair I fall madly in love with you more and more every second. You are my love, and the reason I am here. To feed you, clothe you , teach you, learn from you and love you.


Love your mama,